Holy Matrimony!
by AriTeir
Summary: It's the wedding of the century, complete with hideous bridesmaid dresses, outrageous stag parties and overbearing mothers. Jean and Scott Knew they should have just eloped. Pairings, Jott, Romy and Kurrty with a serving of Loro. My first attempt at Humor
1. Chapter 1

Holy Matrimony!

_Disclaimer: I do not own X-men Evolution or the song 'Don't trust me' and would like to take the time to explain the only reason it's in here is because my sister was watching C4 while I was typing and the Music Video came on and I simply couldn't get Bobby dancing in such a fashion out of my head. I apologise._

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A cry of

"Freeeeeeddddoooooommm" Echoed across the Bayville Area as Robert 'Bobby' Drake all but flung himself out of the X-van's sliding door and threw the school bag containing all of his books to the ground where it landed with a dull thud before sprinting up the stone steps that led to the Xavier Institute and breaking into something that resembled a victory dance singing at the top of his lungs.

"_She wants to touch me wo-oah_

_She wants to love me wo-oah_"

"Okay who let the Iceboy have sugar?" Rogue asked exiting the van her own book filled school bag slung over her shoulder from a broken strap that had been safety pinned somewhat haphazardly to the actual bag.

"It's officially Summer Vacation Rogue come on aren't you even the _teeniest_ bit excited?" Kitty Pryde wanted to know clamouring out of the passenger seat somewhat awkwardly trying to keep a hold on the books that hadn't fit into her school bag.

"Yay I get to boil under half a dozen layers go me!" Rogue sarcasmed

"Come on sis, show a little enthusiasm! It's three months with no school!" Kurt Wagner appeared next to his adopted sister with a 'Bamf.' There were several audible 'Oh god Kurt!'s from the van as the students still waiting for whoever was in front of them to get out were stuck with the foul smelling smoke the accompanied Kurt's Teleportation.

"Yeah Rogue! Think about it sun, sand, surf, shopping!" Kitty said excitedly

"Bayville Mall!"

Kurt cried Teleporting to the railing of the Institutes second floor balcony and striking a dramatic pose.

"A thousand students of the Bayville school system descend upon you!"

"This. Is. Summer!" Kitty yelled in response. Rogue rolled her eyes, you could always tell when Kurt and Kitty had been on a movie binge as they quoted them left right and centre. They were so immature sometimes, but then again she reasoned if you couldn't act like a fool around your family who could you act like a fool around?

"Their sales flyers shall blot out the sun" Rogue said. Kitty and Kurt caught on immediately and with identical grins shouted out,

"Then we shall shop in the shade!" They burst out laughing and even the southern girl couldn't resist a smile.

It was good be out of school, of only for a little while, Rogue supposed she was just bitter because not only did summer mean that while everyone else got to strip down to t-shirts and shorts, she was forced to keep bundled up under half a dozen layers, and gauze wasn't as cooling as everyone thought but this year had meant to be her last year at Bayville High. Rogue didn't like to broadcast it but she had been held back a year in elementary. At age seven she had come down with Glandular fever, the illness had passed relatively quick but she had suffered relapses for the rest of the year along with extreme fatigue and it turned out the amount of time she had spent of school because of it added up to about a semester, the school had no choice but to make her redo the entire year. It must of done some damage to her immune system too as to this day she still couldn't get through a winter without catching everything that was going around.

But being of course that this was summer meant Rogue had nothing to worry about, well except the usual worries that went with living at the Xavier Institute. And while every season at the Institute bought it's own unique blend of chaos, the summer brand was the most potent. There was no school, not even Summer School for those who hadn't done to well that year, because if the faculty didn't want Mutants at Bayville high when they_ had_ to be there what made you think they'd want them there when they had a choice in the matter? And while Logan still insisted on putting everyone through training sessions and Martial Arts training that was only three or so hours of daylight lost which still left plenty of time for Teenage mutants to get up to all sorts of mischief in the mansion they lived in. And get up to mischief they did.

Rogue glanced around at the scene playing out on the Xavier Institutes front lawn, just about everyone's school bags had been dumped in an unceremonious pile with Bobby's, which Rahne and Roberto were dancing on, the Scottish girl preforming some kind of highland dance that required a lot of high kicks and her companion sticking to a flamenco routine stamping his heals down onto the pile. Bobby was continuing with his victory dance only now he had a partner in the form of Jubilee. While Rahne had come back to the Institute once all the mutant hype had calmed down it had taken Jubilee at least a year of threatening her grandparents with all sorts of degenerative teenage behaviour before they let her come back to the states. She said they were just as every bit happy to be rid of her as she was of them, apparently everyone in her grandparents village held her up as a warning to what happened when girls were allowed to much freedom. She was just glad to be out, Jubilation Lee was not meant to be cooped up in some tiny Chinese backwater town where there weren't even shops let alone a mall! Bobby was equally glad to have her back. Everyone at the Institute had been happy to see the best friends reunited until they realised that if Bobby on his own was trouble Bobby with Jubilee was a recipe for disaster.

The rest of the students all of whom by now had piled out of the X-van, which Remy was currently driving back to the garage, Rogue smirked at that she doubted being put on the school run was what the Cajun had had in mind when he joined the X-men but as long as it made him suffer she was happy , were all engaged in similar summer welcoming antics. Which really explained why she was the first to spot a cherry red convertible with white stripes running down the side of it parked, with boxes still in the back halfway down the section of the driveway that led to the garage.

"Hey" Rogue called turning away from the car and back towards her house mates of course they were all still busy celebrating. She rolled her eyes

"Hey!" She practically barked. Everyone immediately stopped what they were doing and turned to the southern girl, well everyone except Bobby and Jubilee who were still singing at the top of their lungs.

"_She wants to touch me wo-oah_

_She wants to love me wo_...Oh?" The two stopped mid verse upon realising that everyone was staring them.

"What?" Bobby asked. Rogue just shook her head slightly sad, sad boy.

"Scott and Jean are home" She announced gesturing towards the convertible.

Upon being accepted into universities outside of Bayville Scott and Jean had intended to continue living and teaching at the Institute making a daily two hour commute to their Campus. They lasted all of about two weeks before biting the bullet and moving onto the university campus full time. Sure they still came home for a weekend every now and again but the Institute and the X-men just weren't the same without their Fearless Leader and Miss Perfect. Even Rogue had found herself missing the pair.

"Jubilee add 'Scott and Jean Baiting' to our Summer schedule" Bobby ordered. The Asian girl reached into one of the many pockets adorning her yellow coat and pulled out the shiny pink P.D.A decorated with a diamanté Hello Kitty she had picked up in China and began tapping away on the Mandarin keys.

"Done and done, it was a tight fit but I managed to slip them in between freezing the pool and adding pink food colouring to the sprinkler system" She said

"I dunno that's cutting it a little thin don't you think?" Bobby asked peering over Jubilee's shoulder at the tiny screen and frowning at the Chinese characters.

"I think Miss Munroe is going to kill you if you dye her plants pink" Amara said , she was the only student who was still carrying her back pack but being that it was Prada, or some other ridiculously expensive designer brand that only a girl who came from an island where a bag of 24 carat gold pieces was considered pocket change could afford, she wasn't likely to throw it on the pile with the others, especially now that it had twelve Jamie's jumping on it.

"Oh no we're adding the dye to the fire sprinklers, we've scheduled Miss Munroe's garden in for next week" Jubilee explained. Amara frowned and laid a hand on her shoulder in a gesture of mock comfort.

"I'm sure it will be a lovely service, I'll send flowers" She said before turning away from the pair and heading up the stairs to enter the Institute.

"You two do realise that in the event of you being caught, that all the evidence needed to put you on probation is on that right?" Kitty asked pointing to the P.D.A.

"That and you've got..." she paused to do a quick headcount.

"...like 19 witnesses"

"Ah but you see you're not witnesses, have you at any point witnessed either myself or Jubilee pulling any pranks? And yeah Miss Munroe speaks like three languages but Chinese isn't one of them. Besides we've got enough contingency plans to keep us clean for a month" Bobby explained

"And if that doesn't work we've got an emergency bunker in Mexico" Jubilee added snapping the flip lid of the P.D.A shut and slipping it back into her pocket and pulling out a folded road map with a route marked out on it in green highlighter leading from Bayville to somewhere south of the border. Kurt 'bamfed' down from the balcony to the wall just behind Jubilee peering over her shoulder at the map.

"That's pretty impressive" He said. Rogue sighed and rolling her eyes retrieved her now completely totalled school bag from the pile before she to ascended the stairs and made her way into the Institute.

All and all it was shaping to be just another summer at Mutant Manor.

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_STORY NOTES._

_Summer: New Zealand has very differernt Summer Vacations to America as not only do ours coinside with Christmas and New Year, making Summer the last season of the year but they also only last six weeks. I did however read on Wikipedia that in America Summer Vaction lasts three months is this correct?_

_The Mall and 300: I am no longer in the schooling system which means If I have the money and feel so inclined I can go shopping in the middle of the week without being exposed to hoardes of tweens and teeny boppers, which means it absolutely loathe the 2 week holidays between each term as they decend upon every shopping center in my home town like a swarm of sales hungry vultures, so 'A thousand students of....decend upon you' is a running joke between me and my brother who is also no longer in school. In the comics both Kurt and Kitty are both avid movie veiwers. _

_Ages: This fic is set two years after the end of X-men Evolution and while I am not excatly certain of Rogues age I venture that she is about 17 in the series making her 19 now._

_Glandular Fever: Known also as the Kissing Fever as it is contracted through saliva Glandular fever presents itself with normal symptoms of a fever but it can take years to recover fully from as bouts of fatigue and a weakened immune system continue long after the fever has subsided. _

_Jubilee in China: Jubilee is an orphan. Her parents were Chinese immigrants who while being sucessful in America were ultimately killed in a hit gone wrong. So I propose that the people who came to remove her from the Institute in Mainsteam were not her parents but rather her Chinese Grandparents who took her back to their home in China. The transition wasn't a good or easy one. _

_Cajun Spice: Yes Remy is living at the Institute now, a lot can happen in two years._

_Carats: 24 is apparently the higest purity gold can reach while still being a usuable metal, I could be wrong._

_Bilingual: While it was never shown in Canon Storm must speak at least three languages, the first two being English and Swahili can anyone tell me the third?_

_Anyway that's all for now I apologise for any spelling and gramatical errors. Feel free to tell me what you think I accept critism just please be constructive and polite._

_Ari out! _


	2. Chapter 2

Holy Matrimony part 2

_I do not own X-men Evolution_

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Kitty wasn't entirely sure how exactly finding out Scott and Jean were home for the Summer turned into an Institute wide quest to see who would find them first. All she knew was one minute she and Kurt had been discussing the pros and cons of getting their own bunker in Mexico, sure they weren't as prank happy as Bobby and Jubilee but they had set up a few good ones over the years, and besides you never knew when you were going to need a bunker, you might as well buy while the market was good, on the Institutes grand staircase the next they were bowled over by a flock of Jamies all talking excitedly about how they were going to win. Sam was close behind them he spared a glance at the extremely confused Kitty and Kurt.

"Bobby and Jubilee are giving prank immunity to whoever finds Jean and Scott first" He explained.

"_Was_?"Kurt asked but Sam and all the Jamies had already reached the top of the stairs and had dispersed into the hallways.

"I do not know" Kitty eventually said taking the hand Kurt was offering her and pulling herself up just as Rogue came down the stairs with both her hands ungloved and an ominous expression on her face. Kitty and Kurt exchanged a nervous glance, the last time Rogue had wandered around with out gloves on and an ominous expression the X-men had taken an impromptu trip to Egypt and an even more impromptu one to Tibet.

"Sorry about this you two but ain't nobody finding Scott and Jean before me" She said both Kitty and Kurt began to back down the stairs as quickly as they could not daring to turn their backs on their respective best friend and sister.

"Uh hey Roomie! You know what I like most about you Rogue, how you don't let little things like pranks get to you!" Kitty said

"Yeah I'm sure _you _wouldn't get involved in something as silly as trying to be the first to find Scott and Jean to get prank immunity" Kurt added

"Nice try." Rogue kept coming.

"I mean yeah Bobby and Jubilee have got you a couple of times but you always shake it off, and I've always totally admired you for that!" Kitty gave one last desperate ditch for freedom.

"They put itching powder in my make-up. Have you ever had itchy eyelids?" The Gothic girl demanded her bare hand inching closer to Kitty. Kurt grabbed Kitty's arm and without even thinking teleported.

Teleporting blind was never a good idea, Kurt was pretty sure he had some kind of sixth sense when it came to Teleportation as thus far he had never teleported into anything, but still he avoided it whenever possible. But standing on the steps with Rogue coming towards Kitty, Kurt had panicked. It was silly really, it wasn't like either he or Kitty had never been touched by Rogue before and he was pretty sure she wouldn't let them fall after knocking them out, but as he saw his sister approach her all Kurt could see was Kitty sprawled out unconscious at the bottom of the stairs, pale and delicate looking. Teleportation it was.

So one short trip through a dimension of brimstone and hell-fire later Kitty and Kurt appeared in a cloud of sulphurous smoke in a darkened room. Kurts' eyes adjusted to the darkness immediately and he recognized the room as the one that had been built for Rogue after their mother had blown up the Institute several years earlier, the one that Rogue had given up to the Institutes newest member before moving back in with Kitty. And it was that newest member who was currently asleep on the bed on the far side of the room.

James Munroe was going to be an absolute heart breaker when he grew up, every female at the Xavier Institute agreed on it. It had always been general knowledge that anyone who shared D.N.A with Storm would be hard pressed to be anything but gorgeous. What hadn't been known was that this rule still remained in effect even when sharing Deoxyribonucleic Acid with Logan.

At two (and a bit) years old James Munroe had light brown skin that made those of a more poetic persuasion think of Lattes, deep brown eyes that didn't really help him in the 'latte' department and white hair that downright refused to do anything other than stick up in numerous angles no matter how much you tried to smooth it down. It had been curly when James was an infant and people had spent hours cooing over it even Ororo had all but broken down into tears when it came time for her sons first hair cut. She had been putting it off for as long as possible but in the end Logan had decided enough was enough, when people started mistaking his son for a girl. Although that might have also had something to do with the fact that James had extremely long eyelashes that made every girl at the Institute jealous, surely he was never going to appreciate how much time would be saved in the morning by not having to put on mascara! There was just no justice in the world!

"That was a close one" Kitty whispered once her eyes had adjusted enough to that darkness so that she to knew exactly where they were. She didn't want to be the one to wake James from his afternoon nap, especially when it took his parents and average of two hours to get him down for it.

"Tell me about it, we were almost out for the count" Kurt said also as quietly as he could

"And all for some stupid prank immunity I mean how lame can you get?"

"Yeah! Bobby and Jubilee aren't that bad!"

If flashbacks were something that took place in real life instead of just being a cinematic device and something that made up the bulk of Naruto episodes, both Kitty Pryde and Kurt Wagner would currently be having one. But seeing as they weren't all they were really doing was staring up at the ceiling while thinking about the last times they had been pranked the devious duo. This lasted for all of about five seconds before they snapped out of it, eyed each other up nervously and dived for the door

Kurt threw himself against the wooden structure to ensure he reached it first but as he struggled to get his two fingers around the doorknob Kitty came up next to him and tried to elbow him out of the way. Kurt winced, Kitty's elbows were _bony. _But he refused to relinquish his hold on the doorknob.

"Move it Fuzzy! I need that Immunity" She said trying to pry his fingers off the spherical structure.

"Forget it if anyone's getting that immunity it's me!" Kurt said attempting to turn the much coveted doorknob but ultimately failing as Kitty was in trying to pull his hands away twisting it in the other direction. He needed that immunity, the fur on his arms still hadn't completely grown back from when Mr McCoy had had to shave it because Bobby and Jubilee had covered them in glow in the dark stretchy putty. He didn't have time to be locked in mortal combat with Kitty.

"What you doing?" Came a small voice from behind the warring mutants. They both stopped fighting to get a hold on the doorknob and turned around somewhat embarrassedly to see James standing behind them. His brown eyes crusted with sleep and his clothes rumpled and Spiderman clasped in his left hand as always.

Spiderman was a toy white Bengal Tiger from Schleich. James had had owned him since he was born and carried him everywhere. And while to the rest of the world that's all he was to James Spiderman was a living thing complete with feelings and daily needs and even opinions. He loved

Dinosaurs too and shared many other common interests with his owner, in fact the only point they differed on was peas. James hated them but apparently Spiderman rather conveniently loved them.

"We didn't wake you up did we sweetie?" Kitty asked switching instantly into mother mode all thoughts of prank immunity forgotten and replaced with rather harrowing ones of the wrath she and Kurt would undoubtedly face for cutting short Logan and Ororo's only James free hour of the day to say he was a handful was an understatement.

"I was only p'tending to be 'sleep" the toddler insisted rubbing his eyes blearily.

"What you doing?" He asked again

"We were looking for _Onkel _Scott and _Tante _Jean" Kurt said. James referred to all of the students as his Aunts and Uncles it was perhaps the only way he had been able to make sense of all of them. There were no illusions at the Institute that James was ever going to have a normal upbringing. The man he called 'Grandpa' was younger than his father by God knew how many decades. At nearly three he could already comprehend if not speak several languages due to being baby talked too in the native tongues of the Institutes international students. He had American citizenship, Canadian citizenship, Egyptian citizenship, Kenyan citizenship and even Japanese citizenship and he knew for a tragic fact that monsters were real and that they didn't live under beds.

James' face lit up at the mention of Jean and Scott. While it was true that he loved all of his 'Uncles' and 'Aunts' Uncle Scott and Aunty Jean were particular favourites, probably because they weren't always there, so their presence became something extra special. Plus whenever they visited they bought him a present.

"Daddy said they bin 'slacking' so he took 'im downstairs" He announced proudly Kitty and Kurt turned to each other with raised eyebrows, Scott and Jean slacking on their training? What was the world coming too?

Then of course Kurt remembered the race to find the older Mutants, and so did Kitty. The fight for the doorknob was back on. This time Kitty reached it first with a triumphant cry of

"Ah-hah!" She enclosed both hands around the structure but before she could do anything Kurt gripped both of her shoulders with firm fingers that having spent years holding on to trapeze bars did not let go easily and yanked her away from the door the two fell onto the carpeted ground and continued wrestling with each other. James watched the scene with mild curiosity before deeming it no stranger than anything else he'd ever witnessed at the Xavier Institute and promptly stuck his thumb in his mouth along with rearranging the way he held Spiderman so that his other thumb was pressed against the tigers mouth. Much better. James often felt sorry for Spiderman and all the other tigers in the world because they had no thumbs to suck, he thought that must have been terrible.

Being hungry was also terrible and that's what James currently was. He took his thumb out of his mouth to frown (something that was impossible to do when your thumb was in your mouth) He wanted a snack. So casting one final disproving gaze over the two mutants who were still wrestling on his floor James stood on his tippytoes to reach his doorknob and was off into the halls of the Xavier Institute.

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_STORY NOTES_

_German: This be a language I do not speak, so I intend to use as little as possible. 'Was' prounced with a 'V' as I'm sure everyone knows is according to online tanslators 'What?' _

_Itchy Eyelids: I actually have had itchy eyelids before. I got a Mosuito bite on my eyelid while I was asleep and it was agony the next day, it hurt to itch it hurt not to itch, I couldn't use any aloe vera or anyhting because it got into my eyes and burned like hell._

_James Munroe: The incredibly cute son of Logan and Ororo belongs to me! I know that in the Comics Logans real name is James Howlette and it has been revealed that if X-men Evolution had continued into a fifth season Logans real name would have been revealed to be James (Jim) Logan. So yeah I know James is actually Logans name but he doesn't know that. And of course being that Logan has no last name I decided to use Ororo's one _

_Schleich: A German company that makes extremely lifelike model toys. They distribute world wide so I'm pretty sure everyones heard of them._

_Tante and Onkel: The german words for Aunt and Uncle_

_Anyway that's all for now, sorry for my poor spelling and punctuation. And don't forget to tell me what you thought, I accept critism just please be constructive and polite_

_Ari Teir_


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